Hickory Bend United Methodist Church » Mountain T.O.P.

Souper Bowl Sunday

Emalie — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 14:07:10 +0000

February 5, 2012
12:00 pm

Join us on Super Bowl Sunday for soup, salad, and all the fixings. We are going to have several more meals on Sundays to raise money for Mountain T.O.P. and other mission work. Many thanks for the support our congregation always shows our UMYF.

Flamingos invade Tennessee

Emalie — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 13:18:07 +0000

Purchase your Flamingo Insurance Now! Join Club 52!

Friends, you do not want to be caught without this important protection. These flamingos can strike without warning, and if this happens to you, you will need the professional services of the UMYF to remove these pesky, plastic pests. For $1.oo a week, or $52.00 a year, you can purchase this important piece of mind. We offer a complete package of flamingo removal services including removing the flamingos and, well, just that. If these terrible hot pink birds invade your yard, call the UMYF Flamingo Removal Professionals at 615-403-8455. For our especially environmentally conscious customers, we will remove the flock to the ecosystem of your choice.

Who usually does this?

Emalie — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 04:04:06 +0000

There were cobwebs on the fellowship hall door the other week. I’m sure there are cobwebs all the time. I’ve just never seen them before, because someone usually removes them before I walk through the door. Who usually does this? Julia arrived, and made coffee. I had never even wondered who made coffee. I guess I believed that elves arrived early and made coffee. Julia Witt does it now. Bob Mitchell made coffee for years, but now, Julia makes the coffee.

We can all be grateful that I don’t make the coffee, because I make terrible coffee. Homeless people warn one another about my coffee. That’s how bad it is. So my making coffee would not be a blessing. But Julia making coffee is a great blessing, as it was when Bob did it. What if visitors came, and I had made the coffee? We would offer them terrible coffee, and they might think the rest of the experience would be as bitter as the coffee. I promise not to make the coffee. I care too much about the church to inflict my coffee on you. But the point is, someone — presently Julia — who makes coffee with ease and grace — arrives early and makes good coffee. Coffee made with love.

All of this has me wondering, what other things are people doing? So many people do these things quietly, without fanfare or even thanks. Wednesday, someone had already cleaned the kitchen before the rest of us arrived. Someone usually vacuums. Someone usually cleans the choir loft. Someone usually empties the trash. Someone sharpens the pencils in the pews. Someone changes the wreaths in the fellowship hall every season. Someone collects the attendance pads. Someone runs off the bulletins.

Someone coordinates the acolytes. I filled in one time coordinating the acolytes. I needed a UN Peace Keeping Team, a Hostage Negotiator, and a lighter, none of which did I have. I needed a nap after my one Sunday coordinating the acolytes. It is an art. Someone coordinates the acolytes.

Someone buys cleaning supplies.Someone just sees a nail sticking up, and actually picks up a hammer and whacks it down. Someone sees a weed and yanks it out of the ground. I truly want to know who you are, and I want to thank you.

Thank you, Julia. You bless us with your coffee and your love. So, I am a teacher and this is a quiz. In this case, I am asking you to match just a few of the many of the tasks that are done at the church with the name of a person who does that task. If you can match the name, thank the worker who does it. I have given you the answer about Julia. See how many you know. Here is an incomplete list — a shamefully incomplete list — of jobs that someone usually does:Runs the sound system
Negotiates with Codes Department
Recycles cups and cans
Volunteers as our electrician
Unlocks the church

Serves as our backstage lighting coordinator
Vacuums the church
Brings clothes for homeless women
Landscapes and weeds
Cooks for fellowship meals
Organizes fellowship meals
Gives generously to special needs
Coordinates work days
Serves as liaison to Cloverbottom

Organizes construction projects
Organizes decorating projects

Brings underwear for RITI

Picks up supplies from Cokesbury
Checks answering machine and forwards messages
Mows the lawn with a push mower
Calls visitors
Calls members who are absent
Counts money
Records worship service and posts it on the website
Designs and maintains website
Replaces the wireless router every time it fries

Washes dishes
Unloads dishwasher
Deposits money
Welcomes visitors
Advises pet owners
Buys Sunday School supplies
Takes food to East Nashville Cooperative Ministries
Takes school supplies to Bethlehem Center
Makes items for the Blanket Brigade
Ships care packages to soldiers
Takes items to Alive Hospice

Coordinates Meals for Summit ICU patients and staff
Greets every visitor

Greets every member
Hangs drywall
Paints walls and trim
Cleans out old men’s bathroom
Organizes church tools
Loans tools to Mountain T.O.P. mission
Opens the church
Turns on the lights
Negotiates with local police officials when someone repeatedly sets off the alarm
Cooks for Room In The Inn
Coordinates Undie Sunday distribution

Sends socks to Room In The Inn
Makes lunches for Room In The Inn
Invites (harrasses) people to come to our church
Maintains our first aid kits
Pays way too much for potatoes
Takes meals to shut ins
Chaperons Youth for Safe Sanctuary Compliance
Leads Safe Sanctuary Training
Sends articles to Debbie for the newsletter
Designs newsletter (see above for hint)

Carols at Cloverbottom
Serves stateside and overseas in the military
Transports Youth and children to church activities
Donates to the music program
Calls shut ins
Honors veterans
Honors fallen soldiers
Coordinates special events and celebrations
Makes banners
Sings like an angel
Buys flamingo insurance
Relocates flamingos
Plays musical instruments
Donates craft supplies
Donates office supplies
Narrates programs

Shares books

Donates cleaning supplies

Does yard work for member in distress

Continues flood relief efforts
Maintains the church building

Coordinates acolytes
Gives sacrificially

Tenderly cares for health impaired members
Cleans the church
Works in the nursery
Relieves nursery workers for communion
Creates works of art for the church

Here are some of the names to match with those jobs: Betty, Susan, Joan, Sammie, Shirley, Shirley, Lane, Ed, Gabby, Richard, Melissa, Tim, Amy, Bri, June, Ken, Eve, Jim, Shari, Becky, Chuck, Robbie, Julia, Debbie, Tom, David, David, James, Maggie, Margaret, Sara, Ken, Teressa, Jerry, Connie, Sherry, Tom, Dean, Donna, Mitzi, Liz, Judy, Ron, Barbara, Jean, Lynn, Dot, Bobbie, Bobby, Alan, Chuck, Gale, Ronnie, Albert, Ethel, Mark, Faye, Lilli, Gene, Brian, Cathy, Debbie, Jillian, Colleen, Helen, Regene, Bill, Sissy, Judy, Maurice, Tom, Marci, Barbara, Ron, Jeannie, Cody, Kelly, Ned, Tom, Wes, Candy, Charlie, Stephanie, Suzie, Jaime, Courtney, Darla, Bea, Gary, Jim, Cindy, James, Jack, Lewis, Louis, Bob, Larry, Candy, Doug, Eddie, Sharon, Meagan, Chris, Elizabeth, Katelyn, Dakota, Gene, Lilli, Caitlin, Lisa, Chris, Chris, Jason, Russell, Lauren, Dylan, Mary, Victoria, Jean

Now, the danger in making any kind of list is that I will leave something off, and I would never, never want to do that. I have omitted the well known work of committee chairs, Sunday School teachers, board members, and our wonderful staff. Their work in those capacities is without question of tremendous value to the church. I am absolutely sure that I have omitted many important things. It has become painfully obvious to me, that I am missing a great deal of what goes on at the church, so please let me know! This is my request of you. When you see someone doing something, give them your thanks and tell me so I can do the same. To all of you who are doing these miraculous things to assure our safety and to magnify the beauty of our life together, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

And if you are the one who sweeps the cobwebs off the doors, I think you are an angel. Thank you.

Emalie

Potato Bar!

Emalie — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 23:46:57 +0000

May 22, 2011

Please come to our final potato bar before Mountain T.O.P.!

UMYF Thanks you!

Emalie — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 05:17:38 +0000

Once again, the generosity of the Hickory Bend congregation is overwhelming. Thank you for the items you donated to the silent auction, and thank you for supporting our potato bars. We are well on our way to Mountain T.O.P. thanks to the support from our amazing congregation.

Silent Auction

Emalie — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 04:13:53 +0000

March 20, 2011
12:00 pm

Join us after the worship service Sunday, March 20, for the Silent Auction organized to support our UMYF trip to Mountain T.O.P.. We have an evening of music with Jeannie Gleaves, an Excel lesson with Ned Egan, a Storytelling session with Emalie, and many, many other treats to auction off to our supporters. Come to the Fellowship Hall and browse. If you have goods or services to donate, please contact Gabby or Emalie.

Join Club 52!

Emalie — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 23:33:56 +0000

Friends! Please join Club 52!

One dollar, every week for a year secures your membership!

You will be supporting our Youth and their chaperons on mission trips! You will also be buying Flamingo Insurance! Should those pesky birds invade your land, we will remove them promptly and cheerfully! Don’t wait! Join now!

Note to Ken and Eve White: We noticed that your memo on your Club 52 check said, “For mafia extortion.” If you think we won’t cash that check, you don’t know us very well. It’s in the bank, baby!

Potato Bar!

Emalie — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 01:07:55 +0000

February 27, 2011
12:00 pm	to	2:00 pm
March 27, 2011
12:00 pm	to	2:00 pm

Thank you for your generosity! We cannot express how much we appreciate your endless ability to enjoy our potatoes. We are hoping to send thirteen youth to Mountain T.O.P. this year along with two or three chaperons. This is the largest group we have ever sent on a mission trip, and therefore the most money we have needed to raise. We thank you for this amazing support. Please enjoy our potatoes!

Chaperon Needed for Mountain T.O.P.

Emalie — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 10:41:52 +0000

How many times have you looked for a truly inspiring and joyful service opportunity?

We need one more adult who is not too easily annoyed willing to go with our loud and boisterous enthusiastic UMYF group to Mountain T.O.P. for the week of June 6-12. Your registration is fully paid, and we will be completely amazed eternally grateful to you if you join Mitzi for this assignment. Mitzi has survived enjoyed each of her mission trips with the youth group.

Speak to Mitzi if you are interested in joining this amazing mission experience.

Call Emalie for counseling more information.

403-8455.

Join Club 52

Emalie — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 10:29:20 +0000

You are invited to join

Club 52!

Members of Club 52 give one dollar a week to support youth missions. (Club 52 Membership includes Flamingo Removal Insurance. Remember, we cannot control where these pesky birds land, but removal is free for Club 52 Members.)

We have several youth and one chaperon who have signed up to go to Mountain T.O.P. this summer. Your membership in Club 52 is a powerful investment in the future of our church.

Thank you for supporting our mission projects.